But not here. Here you drown under a system that covers your agressors and is your enemy, and you're supposed to keep going with your life by yourself. But you created a network for others to not be alone.
I know you ended up inventing what they wanted to hear, because you couldn't take anymore the fear, the pain, the desperation. And that the court case started with the same fake story only to end with you announcing you had made up everything just to be free of the cruel claws and dirty fingers of the police.
I feel like we could have been good friends. I think I would have been able to be there for you, but I struggle to think how to do it now. I think as your equal I would have been a pretty damn solid rock, a shoulder to cry on, and someone you could go seek care if you need it. In a way, that's what you are for me now, although my ghosts are only magnified in my head and there is actually no threat outside.
I wish I could find a way to acknowledge what happened, and tell you that there is no shame in trying to survive in whatever mean you can, there is no one chasing you, and your friends and loved ones will only feel inmense love and pride for being around you. The fear of someone judging you exists only in your head.
I love you dad, even if sometimes I struggle to say it.
Maraya